Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
