Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we're making bets on your personal life
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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