You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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