So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize