definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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