I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
