I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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