Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My vagina is officially offended.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
