I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
