you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
