Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
