Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Small penises have feelings too.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
