think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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