I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
