One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
