Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
zippers are such a cool invention
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
