this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
