This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize