Me. At least after what I've been through.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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