I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i out mim tonsoeep
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