You made me cry and you don't even care
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
