I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
