If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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