yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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