i barfeds in our rink
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
