Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
