i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
