I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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