one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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