From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
