Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize