Someone shit on the floor
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize