i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
as a side note pls kill me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize