"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
