the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I deserve this hangover.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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