I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
