'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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