Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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