so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
