how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize