I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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