Betty ford says i'm here all night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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