if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
