I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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