it was like eating out sand paper
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
