Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
