Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You're like the curious george of whores
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
