I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
