I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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