The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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