Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Pooping to opera.
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