Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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