remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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