So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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