Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
