dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
