girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
