break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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